sweeeeeet.

i haven't written in a while, and i guess is just because i haven't had the inspiration to. actually, i cant even remember the last time i thought to myself "i really need to write about this".

to be honest, im having trouble writing about something now.

i guess ill just go back to the basics...like today, today i actually got to have a conversation with my dear friend misha. god, i miss her. i keep thinking how her and i will never party like we used to, and how its going to be difficult to even see her as often as i would like, but i guess thats just the way it goes. things are meant to go as they do, and i know misha and i will be friends for life.

im getting everyone around me addicted to arrested development. keely would be proud. if you ever need something to do, watch this show. it will change your life. i promise.

im currently reading Tuesdays With Morrie, and so far its sweet. im realizing now as i say this, that sweet is probably not the best thing to say about a book, its almost like in drama when marjorie would say "the worst is having someone tell you your play was 'nice'", but none the less the book is in fact sweet. its only bound to get better, ill keep you updated.

i did however read a quite entertaining book last week. the book was titled The Tenth Circle by our good ol' friend Jodi P. I describe this book as "quite entertaining" because thats really all it was. The talk of rapes, and suicides and all the good things we love to see on csi and law and order, come to life in a book (yeah yeah i know) and give me the opportunity to once again congratulate jodi on her ability to form some outstanding character development. she really is quite good at that. the ending to the novel was rather dull and made me yawn at some moments, but all in all it was a good read.

i guess i had more to talk about then i had led on. i really am going to stick to writing about books for my life. it gets me every time.

im only a woman...

lately, ive had to deal with a lot of people "shit talking". i think ive drawn the line, when my last encounter with it was my own parents. to be honest, ive never really understood the whole "shit talking" technique. do people really think that what they say will never get to the source?

i also find it extremely odd when people get upset about the things they hear about them-self . if you dont want to hear, dont listen. granted, people shouldnt being saying it to begin with, but i guess we are only human and thats pretty much all we seem to do.

ive decided i want to live in a world free of liars, fakes, and phonies. people need to stop pretending to be someone they arent and start focusing on their futures. we left high school quite sometime ago, and im thinking its time to start acting like it.

reinvent love <3

tonight was the start to a soon to be amazing weekend. granted, things didnt work out as well tonight as we had wanted them to, but that isnt something we could have helped. if only i had been born 2 years earlier....but then again my mom would have been 16 and that would not have been okay.

tonight, we went to see our lovely friend brendon pour his heart out through his rather catchy songs. for those who dont know who im taking about, i went to see panic at the disco. in fact, i said "we" before because my dear friend mattie accompanied me, and together her and i make shit happen. after the show we met up with brendon, and a few other friends. got into a vegas night club vip style, and then got kicked out because we are underage.

fuck that. i need a fake id and i need it fast. if any of you know of anyone, let me know.

tomorrow...er, today, we are driving to disneyland, and at night we will be doing tonight all over again....LA style, which hopefully means we will be allowed into clubs.

im a pretty determined girl. this will happen. i just hope your weekend is as good as mine.

cops and french maids.

ive never really considered myself to be the type who gets in "trouble". i feel, as a 19 year old, i make pretty smart choices and i dont do anything that i think is wrong. well tonight, a cop didnt think that was the case.

its not really that big of a deal, and in the end i think we held our own, but let me just say a big "good going" to everyone else who cut. it was probably the smarter decision, but in my honor im going to just go with that i am a fucking fantastic friend.

hmm anyways, i leave this hell hole in a matter of days. 5 to be exact, and then its off the chico. this is going to a pretty exciting summer, i believe. i think its going to be exactly what i need. im going to center myself around good people with positive energy, im going to start writing more, and im going to finally get that job at a small bookstore like ive always wanted to.

i was thinking also that hopefully i will find myself a sugar daddy, but i think that purely is wishful thinking, because really...i dont think hes going to live in chico. oh well, heres to a few mistakes.

shoot videos, not guns.

a guy came into my work tonight speaking of how terrible this city is with crime rates and murders. he went on and on of how rude and disrespectful people are and how the cops dont seem to do anything about these growing rates. he then told me how not more than five minutes ago he had seen a man get shot in the middle of the street, and fall to the ground only to soak to his death in a pool of his own blood. 

the crazy thing about this was the way this man told this story; like it was something that he expected to see on a monday evening, like it was something he sees all the time, and something that he will continue on seeing. in a way, i dont blame him. living in this city i see crazy crackheads all the time, but ive never seen something as extreme as that, nor do i ever wish to. but something about the way the girl behind this man said "it wouldnt be the first time" so nonchalantly about the story made me think that maybe i am the only one who doesnt expect to see shit like that right out of the streets.

i really hope im not the only one. i hope there are others out there who still have the mentality that this world could be somewhat of a peaceful place, and we all arent just living in fear of "everyday life" and what its become. 

anyways, sorry for the depressing post. i had a pretty awesome, yet strange, weekend that maybe one day i will share...for those of you who dont already know it. home this weekend, get ready for exciting weekend number two.

w4m

latey, i have been completely enthralled with craigslists "missed connections". its the most addicting thing i have ever come across since the whole "facebook" and "myspace" trend. for those of you who are completely confused right now, let me explain what im talking about.

craigslist "missed connections" is a webpage that allows people to try and find a person that they had a random encounter with during the day. for exapmple, there are some that simply just say:

subject: you were the girl in the red dress.

i ran into you at the market. we chatted in line about my fondness for twinkies. you told me you found me endearing, i find you intriguing. coffee sometime?

..and thats it! thats all there is to it. for those people lucky enough to get a reply, get to see the other side of it while there "missed connection" beams and excepts the date, or in some cases completely blows them off.

i took it upon myself to see if any of these were even real, and what better way to do that then to write my own. i sat myself down, made myself in-vision a potential encounter and i wrote. i spoke of this tall, dark and handsome muni man who completely mesmerized me and drew me into his spell all simply by walking past me. i went on and on telling myself "no one is going to believe this shit". two hours later i had gotten an email. 

the email was from a guy wondering if i had been on the n train. i told him i hadnt. the moment i sent the email i felt bad. i couldn't help but feel guilty for quite possibly getting this poor mans hopes up, and letting him think for a second that i was his dream girl.  i had gotten myself so enthralled with this entire situation that i began to check it almost everyday. picturing the people who they had written about, and all the people who go on everyday in hopes to find something written about them.

and then i was involved in my very own "missed connection". i was on my way to work one morning and i had sat myself down next to a cute boy, as i usually do. i hadnt paid much attention to him, but i had enough to recognize him when i ran into him again on my way back from work. here we were again, sitting next to each other on the same train going in the same direction, and saying the same thing; nothing. in my head i knew this needed to change. if this wasnt gods way of saying "hey! you guys need to talk to eachother!!" then i dont know what it is. so in my mind the whole train ride i was yelling "come on dude, dont be a pussy, just talk to me". right when i almost gave up he turns to me, and we have a conversation that goes:

"i saw you this morning, didnt i?" 

"haha yeah, you did" i say.

"funny how that works out"

"yeah, have a busy day?"

"ohh no not really, i went to a banquet. but look, i think i was meant to run into you again. i kept telling myself 'oh no i should just have one more glass of wine' because i had a feeling i should stay longer"

and then his phone rang. 

he didnt get my number. he didnt even get my name. and when we parted ways the first thing my mind went to was craigslist.

so what is it about this silly website that draws me in so intently?  had me obsessing over the whole thing make my personal experience happen? or had it been a complete coincidence?

well, whatever it is, he should have gotten my number.

dear gogol bordello,

Thank you for getting bitches out of our hall. oh, and thank you for just being amazing.

love,

cassie