Friday
R.I.P. Jasmine.
this is one of my all time favorite coldplay songs. i guess it relates to my life. ill miss you jasmine. you were amazing. more than i have ever imagined i deserved.
Monday
who wants to be friends?
so its back to chico, eh?
you know, deep down, i really always thought leaving chico was a huge mistake, but i never really wanted to admit that to myself. I had this 'ultimate control' of what i was doing and i was going to fight that until the end.
but here i am.
the end.
and its back to chico.
im excited, and i have the most beautiful kitten in the world right there with me. :)
BUT i do have to say i love my friends, epecially those who feed me pez ;)
you know, deep down, i really always thought leaving chico was a huge mistake, but i never really wanted to admit that to myself. I had this 'ultimate control' of what i was doing and i was going to fight that until the end.
but here i am.
the end.
and its back to chico.
im excited, and i have the most beautiful kitten in the world right there with me. :)
BUT i do have to say i love my friends, epecially those who feed me pez ;)
Wednesday
Tuesday
BLOGS.
so its been a significant amount of time since ive last blogged, but ive been going through this ridiculous case of writers block. i dont know what it is exactly, but i think it has something to do with my repressed mind and the fact that ive lost all feeling of what true happiness is really about.
the good news, however, i think its coming back. well, the happiness is, at least.
ive decided the only way to get over my writers block is to force myself to write more. so, bare with me folks, these past couple months might be a bumpy ride, but i promise in the end it will all be worth it. actually, ive decided to start 2 more new blogs.
the first one will be a blog about my dreams and what i think they mean. this has always interested me, and as we were discussing this subject in psychology, i figured i would give it a whirl.(http://sleepingtodream56.blogspot.com/)
the second, a book blog. its no secret, i read a lot. its no secret, i want to be a book critic. so why not have one? i had one before and i didnt do anything...this one shall be better.(http://booklove56.blogspot.com/)
anywhoooo. i got a job! so these blogs might not be updated everyday, but i do plan on writing in this one more often.
thank you for readddingg. i love you all (all 3 of you, i believe.)
the good news, however, i think its coming back. well, the happiness is, at least.
ive decided the only way to get over my writers block is to force myself to write more. so, bare with me folks, these past couple months might be a bumpy ride, but i promise in the end it will all be worth it. actually, ive decided to start 2 more new blogs.
the first one will be a blog about my dreams and what i think they mean. this has always interested me, and as we were discussing this subject in psychology, i figured i would give it a whirl.(http://sleepingtodream56.blogspot.com/)
the second, a book blog. its no secret, i read a lot. its no secret, i want to be a book critic. so why not have one? i had one before and i didnt do anything...this one shall be better.(http://booklove56.blogspot.com/)
anywhoooo. i got a job! so these blogs might not be updated everyday, but i do plan on writing in this one more often.
thank you for readddingg. i love you all (all 3 of you, i believe.)
Saturday
home sweet home
so im home now. i dont really know to explain it fully, but then again i dont really know how to not go over in detail about it either. im a mess.
im going to a school where i know EVERYONE from high school. you get sucked in and all you feel is that feeling you felt in high school. you know, the feeling you thought you left behind? yeah, well it still decides it wants to creep up on you at the worst possible moments ever.
and dont even get me started on living at home.
i miss my kitten, and my other half, and my mind.
save me?
im going to a school where i know EVERYONE from high school. you get sucked in and all you feel is that feeling you felt in high school. you know, the feeling you thought you left behind? yeah, well it still decides it wants to creep up on you at the worst possible moments ever.
and dont even get me started on living at home.
i miss my kitten, and my other half, and my mind.
save me?
im leavingg on a jet plane.
airports, to state it clearly, are not my friend. to be honest, i hate everything about them. the people, the planes, the security checkpoint. everything.
i mean, currently as i write this the man next to me is basically reading over my shoulder. am i really that interesting, dude? no, im not so go back to playing with yourself.
wow. im kinda bitter. haha but this is what airports do to me!!! the good news is i got on the flight i wanted. im using a buddy pass, so you have to fly stand by...i was a little worried about not making my flight, but i did! anddd i got a new haircut this morning.
so its back to santa cruz. i miss my kitty. i need a job.
ugh, life is fucking nuts.
i mean, currently as i write this the man next to me is basically reading over my shoulder. am i really that interesting, dude? no, im not so go back to playing with yourself.
wow. im kinda bitter. haha but this is what airports do to me!!! the good news is i got on the flight i wanted. im using a buddy pass, so you have to fly stand by...i was a little worried about not making my flight, but i did! anddd i got a new haircut this morning.
so its back to santa cruz. i miss my kitty. i need a job.
ugh, life is fucking nuts.
Friday
merry christmas.
for as long as i can remember, christmas has always been the same.
the eve, we head on over to the g parents house, we eat the same food we always eat, and we open presents.
the day, we go to the aunts house, eat the same food, and again open presents.
once my parents got divorced, though, things changed a bit. i dont mean they changed physically, not even at all. we still do the same thing, but the feeling is different. christmas just doesnt feel like it used to.
i havent even seen my dad. actually, i didnt even get a gift from my dad. just a text this morning saying "merry christmas cassie and ciana", which my mother also recieved at the same time. The sad thing about this, is that it was expected. the only thing that truly came as a shock was the fact that i didnt get a gift from him, but i guess i cant complain too much considering he just payed my rent. To be honest, the best gift i could recieve from him would be for him to let me into his life again. i have no idea who he is anymore, and i want to be back in that place of knowing him better than he knows himself.
other than that though, this christmas was just as eventful as the last. heres to next year being...exactly the same.
the eve, we head on over to the g parents house, we eat the same food we always eat, and we open presents.
the day, we go to the aunts house, eat the same food, and again open presents.
once my parents got divorced, though, things changed a bit. i dont mean they changed physically, not even at all. we still do the same thing, but the feeling is different. christmas just doesnt feel like it used to.
i havent even seen my dad. actually, i didnt even get a gift from my dad. just a text this morning saying "merry christmas cassie and ciana", which my mother also recieved at the same time. The sad thing about this, is that it was expected. the only thing that truly came as a shock was the fact that i didnt get a gift from him, but i guess i cant complain too much considering he just payed my rent. To be honest, the best gift i could recieve from him would be for him to let me into his life again. i have no idea who he is anymore, and i want to be back in that place of knowing him better than he knows himself.
other than that though, this christmas was just as eventful as the last. heres to next year being...exactly the same.
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