merry christmas.

for as long as i can remember, christmas has always been the same.

the eve, we head on over to the g parents house, we eat the same food we always eat, and we open presents.
the day, we go to the aunts house, eat the same food, and again open presents.

once my parents got divorced, though, things changed a bit. i dont mean they changed physically, not even at all. we still do the same thing, but the feeling is different. christmas just doesnt feel like it used to.

i havent even seen my dad. actually, i didnt even get a gift from my dad. just a text this morning saying "merry christmas cassie and ciana", which my mother also recieved at the same time. The sad thing about this, is that it was expected. the only thing that truly came as a shock was the fact that i didnt get a gift from him, but i guess i cant complain too much considering he just payed my rent. To be honest, the best gift i could recieve from him would be for him to let me into his life again. i have no idea who he is anymore, and i want to be back in that place of knowing him better than he knows himself.

other than that though, this christmas was just as eventful as the last. heres to next year being...exactly the same.